Breakfast Meditation; Despising Your Gift

I was having breakfast at home this morning (one of those rare days). While I sat and was eating trying to motivate myself for the day, I figured that all the talents and gifts I knew I possessed growing up, have been grossly underutilised. And even when I tried, I couldn’t take it all the way.

This was quite a painful rediscovery of myself this morning. I figured that the reason I am in this position right now is that I despised these talents; I thought them as mere hobbies or pastimes. Now I’m in my mid-twenties thinking; if only I h,ad taken music or writing or even acting more serious I probably would be a star. So the truth is talents can be lost. If you neglect your innate ability, it might take a very long time; but it will eventually leave you.

I can’t begin to tell you the number of uncompleted books, half stories, unfinished songs I’ve done because in truth, I do not even know how many, or have a clear memory of them anymore. I never believed they would amount to something substantial, there was no passion whatsoever, I was basically extremely lazy. Now I realise two things that could kill your fulfillment in life: laziness and bad influence.

I could blame several factors: parenting, societal expectations and all of that, but the biggest factor was me. I chose to conform and to let other factors choose for me, I thought big in my own mediocrity. I was foolish to think I’d always have this talent around, but I couldn’t build a career with it; I sacrificed my gifts on the altar of societal norms which had no basis in me.

Thankfully I find that I am still close to where my talent allows me, but I have been constricted to the degree in which I have utilized and harnessed those abilities.

With this rediscovery, I shall not be proud nor in a haste to learn right from the basics and re-channel my dreams in line with what has been divinely placed in me. I shall also be positive minded because a resolution is just what it is till achievement is tangible.